Insanity
by Pocky Whore
Summary: This whole hospital is taunting me.Most rooms didn’t even have windows most people never even know that an out side world exists.They do this to play with me they show me the world outside these bleak white walls, a world I many never get to see. SasuNaru
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1  
By Pocky Whore**

**S**oft droplets of rain wound their way across the panes of the window. The water moved slowly across the surface of the glass, then collected into a puddle in the crevices of where the window meets the wall. I touched my hand to the cool glass and tried to trace the path of the fallen drops, but I couldn't feel their calming wetness through the window, no matter how much I wished I could.

I'd always loved the rain, no matter how long or hard it fell, it always relaxed my tired mind. Rain seems so pure and so open; I love rain because rain has nothing to hide. It just _is._

I sighed and watched the small puff of white air climb up and cling to the window, creating a haze against the glass separating me from the outside world. I heard a door behind me open apprehensively and the click of women's high heels against the tiled floor. I didn't need to turn around to know that she'd be clad in the same simple white outfit as every other nurse in this vicinity.

She cleared her throat and shifted on her stilettos, obviously trying to get my attention, but I just continued to examine the grooves of the window that held me confined. I brought my hand up to the glass and drew an X over the film on the window and watched as the X slowly disapeared and was replaced by more moisture and film.

"Uchiha?" She called out timidly, and I knew that she wished to be elsewhere. By her voice I could also make out her exact identity, she was one of the new nurse recruits, just out of college and looking to make some sort of difference.

I caught myself before I snorted. What a slander that was. She was probably in this for herself, just like _everyone_ else is. Perhaps it makes them feel better to tell themselves they're making a difference when in reality greed consumes _everyone_, even those who fight against it. She kept herself near the door way, they all do, so she could make a quick getaway if need be.

She continues shifting her weight from one stiletto clad foot to the other, and the noise is becoming quite agitating in the silence. I stay silent a moment longer, hoping she'll humor me and leave, but she isn't so gracious. She takes a step forward towards where I am sitting on my plain cotton swept bed and I wonder briefly if you could kill someone by clubbing them with stilettos, the thought was _tempting_ I might add.

'She's in my room.' I think amusedly. I'd been surprised when she left the door way and actually ventured into my room of her own free will. I slanted my neck around to face her just in time to see two small plastic cups thrust in front of my face. I glanced up at her, but she was looking away and blushing at the same time. Stupid girl, she couldn't decide whether to be afraid of me or attracted to me.

I cast my eyes back to the cups in front of me. The first held three medium sized pinkish red pills and the other housed less than a mouthful of water. When I didn't accept the cups from her, she pulled her arms back and glanced between them and me. Finally she gave up, as most do, and set them on my bedside table with the instructions to take them soon or she'd be forced to contact one of the doctors.

There was the sharp sound of the door closing, and then it was quiet again, with the exception of the almost silent pang against the window. I looked over to the two lone cups occupying the space on my night stand and sighed, I'd have to take them or the doctor's will knock me out and _force_ them down my throat. I reached over and picked up the one with the pills. I shook the container and listened to the rattle they made against the plastic. I tipped my head back and swallowed the pills dry, not even bothering to wash them down with the water, I was half hoping I'd choke to death on them so I could blame this whole damn hospital for my death. Unfortunately, the pills went down without a hassle.

I throw both cups to some random corner of the room, leaving it for one of the nurses to pick up later. I heard the water splat against the floor and the plastic cups roll off in different directions. Just because I have to take the damn medicine doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. If I have to take the God forsaken tablets, I'd at least put up a fight, and leave a mess for the nurses to deal with.

I crooked my head back around and turned my gaze back to the window. More drops landed on the glass and it was if they were taunting me, because they knew I could never leave. This whole hospital was taunting me. Most rooms didn't even have windows; most people never even know that and outside world exists.

They do this to play with me; they show me the world outside these bleak white walls, a world I many never get to see again. They show me it, yet they deny me it. 'They're trying to break my spirit,' I muse. 'They want me to give in to them."

I reached back over to my bed side table and turned off the light. My eyes adjusted slowly to the absence of light, and I lay myself onto my bed. I don't bother to upturn the covers and crawl under; they itch against my body and tempt me to rip off my flesh because of the discomfort. I close my eyes and try in vain to let sleep over take me. The endless click of heels passing through the long hallway right outside my door is determined to keep me from sleep. My eyes wonder aimlessly around the small room that I am confined in.

Four bleak white walls and a caking ceiling stare back at me, unmoving, unchanging, those same four walls that I've been staring at for years, and in all these years they have yet to become familiar. If anything, they become less and less trusting every time I look at them. It's as if they are laughing at me, as if they know something I don't.

The sound of heels is again keeping me awake, but this time they stop just outside my door, as if debating whether to come in or not. After a few more moments of hesitation, the shadow outside my door leaves along with the sound of retreating heels. I sigh and watch as my breath weaves up through the air and come to rest as film on the window again, the heat of my breath causing multiple more to do the same thing. My room is so cold, almost unbearably. I can feel my teeth chattering and I steady my jaw to stop the movement. I just lie, out in the open, and let my body adjust to the cold temperature, because no matter how cold something is, I'm colder.

I turn my body onto its side and gaze out the window, the window that's bolted shut. I'd given up long ago on trying to open it; even if I could I'd just end up in this room again. I ran my finger threw my hair and twisted a navy black lock around my finger.

Your hair is one of the few things in a person's individuality that they let you keep around here. Anything and everything else is swept under the rug. I run my hands over my cold stricken arms, feeling the goose bumps along my body, and I find myself hoping I freeze to death, or at least get sick.

Finally the clicks and murmurs from outside in the hallway stop, and I try again to fall asleep, but it's no use now. Now I'm totally awake. I growl under my breath and curse whatever God there may be, although I believe in none of them.

Then the clicking of heels returns and stops outside my room again. I quickly close my eyes and even out my breathing hoping to appear asleep. The door opens with a low squeal, and a beam of light illuminates the small room, but I keep my eyes closed and my body still. The clicking comes towards my bed and stops a few feet away from me.

I open my eyes, and I can make out her almost anorexic shadow on the wall that I'm facing. Another shadow appears in the door way, but isn't followed by the sound of plastic hitting tile, which leads me to conclude that the nurse is accompanied by one of the male nurses, or even a doctor. The nurse's shadow moves away from me and towards another part of my room. She grumbles unladylike under her breath when she steps on an empty plastic cup, and almost slips on water, luckily for her and unluckily for my amusement, the doctor catches her before she falls.

I almost can't hold back the small chuckle in the back of my throat, but I manage to clasp my hand over my mouth before it escapes me. The doctor, unfortunately, notices my movement.

"Sasuke," He says, as if actually expecting me to reply to him.

He walks toward me and I pull myself into a sitting position on my bed. As I looked up at the two new occupants of my room I recognized the same nurse from before, and my 'doctor' of three years, Kakashi. I don't say anything to either of them; just stare off at something past their shoulders. The nurse turns around as if expecting to find what I'm looking at, but turns back towards me when she fails to find anything that she thinks would capture my interest.

I meet Kakshi's eyes for a moment and then move them to the nurse and give her a glare. She's really starting to eat at me. Kakashi takes the hint and waves her off. Stupid bitch gets up and closes the door behind her.

Kakashi doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact that it's now almost totally dark in the room. My room. Both of us in my room alone with the lights out, if Kakashi wasn't such twit I might actually be worried. I reached over and turned on the small light on my table and waited for Kakashi to speak. He'd come to my room in the middle of the night so surely he had something he wanted to say or tell me.

"Did you take your medicine?" He asked looking down at the mess on the floor that could have nearly ruined the nurse's pretty face.

"Yes," I growl out at him, "What of it?"

"Just making sure." He smiles at me as his eye curves up in a happy gesture. He wore the standard doctors jacket and slacks, but and switched out the shirt for a tight fitting black one instead of the mandatory loose flannel white one. His face was half covered by a piece of the same form fitting material stretching up over his nose.

I wait for him to say something more, but he doesn't, so I lie back down on my bed and put my back to him. "You know Sasuke," he says sitting down next to me. I feel the bed give slightly under his weight, but I kept my back to him. "You're getting a new roommate tomorrow." He finishes. My eyes snapped to the empty bed along the opposite wall of the room, and sighed out of frustration.

"Great, just fucking great." I muttered and closed my eyes again. Fresh meat is always a big deal here at Konoha mental institute.

TBC

Hello all. This story began back in 2008 and sort of got abandoned. I have decided to go back through and edit and update some of the chapters before I begin writing new chapters for this story. Hope you enjoy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2  
By Pocky Whore**

When I wake up, it is already mid-morning. I sit up rigidly and stretch my stiffened limbs out above my head, giving my knuckles a few good cracks. The sun was partially hidden by an almost transparent cloud, but it still illuminated the entire outdoors as well as my room. It's funny how so little light can illuminate so much.

I craned my neck around and looked out the window, squinting when the light meets my sleep swollen eyes. Patches of mud and puddles of water littered the once green grass of the courtyard below me. I touched my hand to the window and found that it was still cold to the touch from the previous night. I swing my legs off of the side of the bed and touch my feet to the benumbed tiled floor and then quickly draw them back up away from the floor, glaring at the chilling tiles.

I turn my head and noticed the small bed in the opposite corner of my already too small room. For the first time since I'd been here, the bed was made up in the same simple white sheets as mine was.

"Sasuke?" I heard a voice call out to me. I looked up and saw Kakashi standing in the door way, clip board in hand. That's funny, I hadn't even heard him come in, he has a way of doing that somehow.

"What?" I called out, not feeling up to arguing today.

"Breakfast is ready." He said smiling at me.

"Oh," Was all I could say. Wow, I hadn't realized I'd woken up _that_ late. "Umm Thanks I guess." I replied back, and he just smiled.

At breakfast the lunch hall was as noisy as ever, but as soon as I walked in I could feel all eyes on me. It wasn't often I came to eat in here, I usually waited till everyone had left before coming down to get my own food, that is if I even eat. I get my food and sit at the same table I always do. No one ever sits there. It's like some unwritten rule that the table is mine. So I sit alone and eat my breakfast.

And then from the other side of the lunch hall, two large Plexiglas doors opened and everyone holds their breath. Those doors opening mean one of two things, someone was getting released, or…Fresh meat.

And sure enough there, standing in the doorway separating the insane from the normal, stood a blond boy no older than 17. He didn't know it yet, but his path down insanity was starting just then.

Kakashi greeted him and I watched the young boy scan around the room taking in everything. He eyes the nurses and the doctors and his eyes rolled over every face in the crowd and all those seated at the tables before landing on me. His blue eyes met mine and I wondered if this is what it felt like to drown.

We stared at each other for a few more seconds before I lost his eyes in the crowd. I shook my head and ran a hand threw my limp hair. I glanced back at the blond boy, but he was lost within the commotion of all the other patience trying to talk/look at the newbie. I stood up and threw my trash away, tray and all. Some cook would probably get pissy at me for it later, but I didn't much care.

I walked to the next room over, the living room place thingy. It was really just a big room with a few couches and a TV and a few other things. Neji, Hinata, Lee, Temari, Shino and Ino were all sitting spread out on the floor and couches looking rather uninterested in the new comer. They all just glanced at me when I walked in, and then went back to what they were doing. There were only a few people in this whole place that I would tolerate, them being some of them, but we weren't friends buy far. Sasuke Uchiha doesn't have _friends._

Konoha is a specialized mental institution. It's a place for 'young adults', as they like to call us, who have been court mandated psychiatric care. Some of us are criminals, and others just sick children placed here by the courts because there is nowhere else to put them. It was pretty easy to tell who was who.

I walked out of the 'living room' and started down the long doorway back towards my room, when I heard someone call out to me. I growled under my breath and then turned around to find Kakashi waving to me, and next to him? Yep the new kid.

"Sasuke this is Naruto, he's your new roommate." He smiled. Well at least I think he smiled. You can never really tell.

I just blinked at him and turn my gaze to the kid beside him. "Whatever." I mumbled and then turned around, back on my way to my room, but before I know it someone is in front of me blocking my way. I look up to see the ironically still smiling face of my doctor. I just glare up at him.

"Aww now don't be that way Sasuke-kun!" The silver haired man chirped back at me, and again I just blinked.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked tilting my head to the side. "Wait don't answer that." I stopped him before he could even try and answer with some smart remark about how he wasn't the one in the Looney bin. I started walking away again and glanced over my shoulder. "Aren't you coming kid?" I asked sarcastically, he just glared at me before following me back to my room. Wait. Our room. I shuddered. That sounds so wrong.

"Wow this place is small." The blond commented as we entered the room. Talk about stating the obvious. I just rolled my eyes and plopped down on my bed, reaching under to grab my Walkman and a pair of headphones. If one of the nurses found it they'd probably take it away so I keep it hidden just in case.

I put the volume on loud and close my eyes.

I decided to pretend I couldn't feel the new kids staring at me, but after a while it became hard to ignore. I hit the pause button on my walkman and slid the earphones down around my neck. "What?" I asked.

"Why are you here?" he asked me. I couldn't tell if he was some sort of innocent or just ignorant, although they say they go hand in hand.

"What the hell are you talking about kid?"

"You're just as much as a kid as I am and you know what I ment. Why are you here. The insane ward." He replied.

"The question new kid, is why are _you_ here and why should I care?" He didn't seem to have an answer for that. He just stared at the ground. I sighed.

"Look Kid," I remember being new, I guess I could cut him a break, "If you wanna make friends round here asking them why their crazy isn't gonna get you far. Kay?"

"I have a name ya know." He said raising his eyes to meet mine again. The same sky blue eyes from earlier, and I gulped.

"I know." I replied.

"Then use it." He challenged me. I guess I wouldn't like being called new kid either. Man this guy had spunk. I liked it.

I grinned. "Whatever you say…New Kid." I don't think I've ever seen a guy pout till just then.

The rest of the day went by, I can't really tell you what happened, I just stayed in my room listening to my head phones while blondie went around and checked out the rest of the hospital.

When Naruto came back, I was lying on my bed with my eyes closed and head phones on. He must have thought I was asleep or something because he turned out the lights and crawled into his own bed, cloths and all. They're probably still searching through all his stuff. They check everything you bring in or out of this place just to be 'safe.' He's lucky they let him in with the shirt on his back.

I listened to my Cd a few more times before I decided I'd go to sleep too. I pushed the 'stop' button on my walkman and pulled the headphones off. I reached under my bed and set them in a small shoe box that was under there, being as quiet as I could.

I closed my eyes and started to drift off when I heard something. I opened my eyes a peered through the darkness towards the sound of the noise. The new kid's bed.

From what little I could see in the dark I could still tell that he was awake, which was odd because he'd gone to bed at least 2 hours ago and still wasn't asleep? He kept twisting in his bed and sighing.

'Great,' I thought to myself, '_Another insomniac_.'

It took me almost another hour to get to sleep and I'm sure Naruto was up much longer than that.

…_**...**_  
_The next morning_

I sat up in bed the next morning and stretched. I turned my head over to the other bed and found that Naruto wasn't there. 'Probably at breakfast.' I thought to myself and yawned.

I swept my feet over the floor again and stood up despite the chill. I reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of plain white ankle high socks, hopping from one foot to the other in attempt to get them on. I had the left sock almost on, when I tripped and fell backwards, hitting my head against the cool steal railing of my bed. I didn't even try to pick myself up, I just sat there on the floor head tilted back cursing this whole damn hospital and everyone in it.

I looked up at the ceiling and started to mindlessly count the cracks in the caked wall, getting to the 300's before I lost count and started over. This time I had made it to the mid 600's when I heard a soft clicking approaching in the direction of my room. In my head I could almost hear the Jaw's theme song playing. Ya know the song that plays right before the shark eats someone.

Sure enough, the sound stopped right outside my door and the same skinny nurse from before opened the door and stood in the door way. I pretended not to notice her and continued on with counting.

651…

652…

653….

"Sasuke?"

654…

655…

656…

"Uchiha?"

"What?" I snapped at her, never taking my eyes from the ceiling and the cracks that held my interest. When she didn't answer I lifted my head and looked up at her, raising my eyebrow at her, daring her to have a good reason for interrupting me. She just avoided my gaze and held out a pair of plastic cups towards me. I sighed. Not this again.

She stepped into my room, and again I was impressed that she had. She walked over to me and kneeled down on her knees next to where I sat slumped on the floor. She reached out to me, as if to touch me, but she must have seen the glint in my eye. Allowing her in my room was one thing, letting her touch me was another thing entirely. She sat back on her knees, allowing her skirt to ride up. I raised my eyes brow at her again. What exactly was she thinking I wondered. She ran a hand through her hair and then cupped her hands in her lap, setting the cups down on the floor in between her and me.

"You shouldn't be too quick to hate people Uchiha. You seem like a good person, I don't understand why you won't let us help you." She said never taking her eyes from her cupped hands. "I mean we are all worried about you and well…we can't make you better if you won't let us." She finished as if she knew me, as if she knew anything about me.

She looked up at me and brought her hand up to my face, not touching it, but just close enough that I could almost feel her hand. "I don't understand you Sasuke, you're a mystery to us all." Then she moved her hand and this time, she _was_ touching me. And touching Sasuke Uchiha, isn't something you're supposed to do.

I slapped her hand away from me and pushed her to the floor. I stood up and kicked her in the side, not giving the least bit care that by now she was sobbing. "What the fuck do _you_ know!" I yelled kicking her again in the side. "What the fuck makes you think you have the right to talk to me like that, what makes you think you can _touch_ me. Do you think you're _special_? Huh, _nurse_ girl, are ya? Are ya special? _Huh_!" I yelled kicking her with each emphasized word.

I wasn't even thinking anymore. All I could think was 'She touched me, She touched me,' Over and over again in my mind. She had to have known this would happen. I've sneaked looks at my file, it says _specifically_ that I do _not_ like to be touched. She _had_ to have known, but she did it _anyway_. Did she really think I'd _let_ her? _Stupid _bitch.

I didn't even know what was going on anymore. All I could hear was screaming and shouting and before I knew what had happened, someone had me gripped around the waist and was pulling me away from the sobbing nurse. I turned around and swung my fist at the person holding onto me, but they caught it, and my eyes met blue.

Naruto held me around my waist and I know I must have looked like a deer in the head lights. I didn't want him to touch me, but I didn't want to hurt him either. "Don't touch me." My voice was low and pleading. All I wanted was to be left alone. "Please." I managed to get out through gritted teeth. I could feel myself slipping. I was gonna break down if he didn't let go soon. He met my eyes again, and I knew he understood. He let me go and I slid to the floor.

Kakashi ran in and just stood there in the doorway, as if he didn't believe what he was seeing. "What happened?" He asked, his voice no more than a whisper in the now silent room, silent that is except for the quiet sobbing of the girl on the floor.

I looked up at him, eyes bleak and uncaring.

"She touched me."

TBC

Updated and edited August 8th 2012

Hope you enjoyed


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

"Are you serious? What the hell is wrong with you Sasuke!" Kakashi groaned out.

"I don't know _doctor_ why don't you tell me?" I threw at him, still slouched against my bed from the ground. The nurse still lay crying on the floor a few feet in front of me and I tired, I swear I _tried_, to feel bad for what I did or sorry for her, but I just _couldn't._ She had _touched _me. She brought this upon herself.

Kakashi sighed and kneeled down on the floor next to the fallen nurse, picking her up bridal style and carrying her out of the room. He stopped right outside the doorway and glared back at me. "I'll be back to deal with you later Sasuke." And then he walked away.

My eyes followed him out the door and for a few minutes after I just stared at the door that they'd departed from. Then my eyes were drawn to the ground, blood was littering the pale white tiles of the floor and there was even some on my feet and legs. I just stared at the blood, fascinated. I brought my hand up in front of my face and saw that it too had flicks of red on it. I suddenly felt disgusting.

I pulled myself up and stood, making my way to the door way and into the hall. I started walking down the hallway and suddenly I was running. I ran past the kitchen and past the living room, running despite the heavy footsteps following behind me. I didn't care anymore. I skidded to a halt outside the bathroom and pushed the heavy door open.

I stopped in front of the large mirror and stared at my reflection. There was red dots and smears all over my face and neck. Suddenly my whole face felt like it was burning. So did my hands and my legs. I jerked the faucet on and scrubbed myself. I scrubbed and ripped at my flesh, but I could still smell the blood on my hands. I rubbed the flesh of my cheek where the nurse had touched me, desperately trying to erase the feeling of her flesh against mine, but it wasn't working. I felt like there were spiders all over me. I just wanted it to go away.

I snapped my head up and looked at myself again. My right cheek was red and angry and the rest of my face was wet with sink water, the blood was gone from my face, but still I could _feel _it against my skin.

Suddenly I hated my reflection. Covered in the blood of another made me look so much like him. Like the man I hated. I shuddered at our likeness I didn't want to look like him. I yelled out and smashed my fists into my reflection, my reflection that looked so much like him. I screamed out with every punch, not even caring that my knuckles were bloody. Having my blood on me was better than having other people's blood on me.

I continued to pound my fists into my reflection when something in the mirror caught my eye. And there staring back at me in the now demented mirror was two sets of eyes instead of just my own. I whirled around and found myself face to face with the same blue eyes from before.

We just stared at each other for a minute, both not quite knowing what to say, but I didn't have anything to say to him anyway. I'd just about given up and was about to walk away when he reached out to me. I flinched.

He pulled his hand back and looked at it, as if trying to figure out what was wrong with it, and then looked back at me. His gaze didn't waver. He stared and stared at me and it was as if he was looking through me, inside of me. I broke the gaze between us and shook my head trying to regain control of myself.

I took a step away from the smaller boy and turned around, heading for the door. I'd only taken a few steps when I felt something grip my wrist. My instinct took over and I turned around swinging desperately trying to get whatever it was off of my hand. Just as my fist was coming down, my eyes met blue again but it was too late, my fist came down on his cheek with slightly more force than I had intended. That was gonna leave a bruise. But he never let go of my wrist or wavered from where he stood.

I pulled my arm away from him and pushed him away. "Watch yourself dobe or you'll end up like the nurse did." I warned, although I had no intention of beating anyone else up at the moment.

He just kind of half smiled as if he knew I didn't mean it. His smile was kind of ironic thought, it wasn't condescending, it was almost sad. He opened his mouth and then closed it as if debating whether to say something or not, but he just grinned nervously at me instead and stuttered over his words, words that made no sense mind you. I lifted my eye brow at him and he sighed as if giving up.

"So uh… you don't like to be touched do you?" he asked nervously, scratching the back of his head.

I snorted. "Were you slow as a child?" I asked smirking lightly at his pissed face. Somehow he'd been able to take my mind off of it and I relaxed slightly, that is, until Kakashi came bursting into the bathroom.

He stalked straight up to me and I swear if it had been legal he would have slugged me right then and there, but I knew despite everything he wasn't mad at me. He'd known me almost all my years here, he's seen things that I'd have rather no one to see or hear, he knows things about me that no one else does. He _knows_ that even if I will put up with sharing a room and being civil, I will not put up with being touched. He _knows _and that if the nurse didn't know she does now.

This was actually kind of a set back really. It's been a while since I've had any 'incidents.' Over the years I've grown, let's say, more tolerant of my fears. I refuse to say the therapy is working but when you've pretty much grown up here there's not much else it can be attributed to.

He looked at me and I knew he wasn't mad at _me_ he was mad at the situation.

Kakashi closed his eyes a sighed. "One night in isolation." He whispered to me before opening his eyes again.

He must have seen me wince, because he quickly added, "You're lucky they're letting you off easy." And I sighed knowing he was right.

"Isolation?" Naruto spoke up for the first time since Kakashi had entered. Kakashi turned to Naruto as if just realizing he was there, although I knew better.

"Yes, Sasuke will be confined alone in isolation for one day." He spoke slowly watching me. I growled under my breath and bore my teeth to him as best I could; although it didn't have the desired affect because Naruto just laughed at me and Kakashi smirked.

Then Kakashi's eyes turned serious. "Common Sasuke." And I knew what this meant. Isolation. He walked me down the hall and came to rest in front of the last one. The door furthest away from everything and everyone. The whole way here people had been staring at me; word gets around fast I guess.

I haven't been in isolation alot since I've been here. Ya I'm considered one of the 'troubled' patience, but I've actually only been in here once before, and I hated every second of it. When you're in there you get this over whelming feeling that you're alone, like you're the only one in the world. I have to admit, it's not a good feeling.

Kakashi opened the door to me and gestured for me to enter, and I did. He closed the steel door behind me and it was totally dark, except for the bit of light shining through the small rectangular window in the center of the door. I could hear Kakashi's feet walking until it they were gone, and then it was silent.

The room is small. Probably about half the size of my own bedroom, this isn't that big either. The isolation room is about big enough to stand up in or lay down in, but that's about it. I sat down against the far wall and brought one of my knees up near my chest to rest my chin on.

I don't know how many hours I just sat there staring out the window, but it felt like so much longer than it should have. I closed my eyes and sighed, wondering if the stupid nurse would quite or not. She probably will. I've been labeled a 'lost cause.' They always give up.

Little by little I began to drift to sleep sitting on the cold tiled floor of the isolation room. The lights outside of my room where dimming and I could feel sleep calling to me. I usually don't like to take commands, but I wanted sleep just as much as sleep wanted me.

_Nothing made sense anymore. First there had been the front door left open and then the fact that all the lights had been turned off. None of this was clicking in my 7 year old head. _

_"Mamma? Papa?" I call out thinking, someone will answer me, but no one does. I walk past their room and the den but still I can't find them. _

_"In here!" I hear my brother yell and I smile as big as I can because I haven't seen Itachi in a few days because he's been on a school trip and he always brings me presents when he comes back._

_"Itachi!" I yell and run into the kitchen from where his voice had come from. When I walk in though, my smile fades. "Mamma? Papa?" I ask not knowing what's going on. I look up at Itachi. "Why are mamma and papa sleeping on the ground?" I ask still lost. _

_He just smiles at me. "Look again little brother."_

_I kneel down on the floor. "Mamma?" I ask shacking her. I pull my hand back. There's something wet on my hands. "Mamma!" I yell more desperately. I'm young, yes, I'm Naïve, yes, but I know that something isn't right._

_I shack her and yell until my voice goes horse, but she doesn't move. She doesn't wake up. I can feel myself crying. "Itachi." I cry turning around only to find him smiling. "What's wrong with them Itachi! What's wrong with you?" I cry. I pretend I can't see the bloodied knife he's holding behind his back, I pretend I can't see the stab wounds in my mother's chest. _

_He steps closer to me and I take a step back. His smile only widens. "What's wrong Sasuke?" he asks innocently. I step back again as he steps forward. And suddenly I'm backed against a wall. Itachi reaches out and grips my frail neck. Squeezing until I can't see anymore. I can't breath and I can't even cry. 'Why.' Is all I can think._

_I looked up to him. I loved him. He's my brother, and he's going to kill me._

_I can almost feel my oxygen deprived body give out when suddenly he lets go and I choke desperately trying to fill my empty lungs. Still he just looks down at me. I can barely see him through my tears, but he's not smiling. In fact there are no emotions on his face. _

_I slide to the ground, I can't feel my legs anymore. He just watches me._

_"I hate you." I manage to say between gasps for breath, and my whole body jerks back when he kneels down to make his face even with mine._

_"Good." And this time, he does smile. He stands back up and takes a step away from me, pulling something out of his back pocket. He stops a few feet away and blows me a kiss and then waves at me, still smiling._

_Then there's a 'bang' and it takes me a moment to realize it was the sound of a gun. Blood splatters all over me and it takes me another second to figure out the blood isn't mine. Itachi crumples to the floor, hole in his head and gun in his hand._

_Then the police show up. 'Just in the nick of time.' I think sarcastically. One steps towards me and I scream and bring my knees to myself._

"_Don't touch me!" I yell kicking away the hands that are trying to 'help' me._

I snap my eyes open and try to breath, my throat burns and my eyes sting. After a moment I calm down and run a shaky hand through my hair. The isolation room is completely dark by now and I have to will myself not to freak out at the shadows in the darkness. Remembering always make me jumpy.

I uncurl myself and glance out the small window in the door and almost jump when I see a pair of blue eyes staring at me through it. I swear this kid is everywhere.

"Sasuke?" He asks although It's hard to hear him because he's whispering and we are talking through a god damned window.

"What the hell are you doing here dobe, and why aren't you sleeping?" I shoot back still trying to calm myself from before.

"I couldn't sleep." He says turning his gaze away from my own. Oh ya, I forgot that blondie's and insomniac. I nod as if telling him I understood.

"You know if you get caught out of your room after hours, Kakashi's gonna bitch at you." I say

He just smiles at me and I can't help but smile back a bit. "Just go back to the room okay?" I say to him. He frowns a bit. And then sighs.

"Okay." He stares at me a moment longer and then leaves, and I can't help but wish he hadn't left. I really didn't want to be alone right now, not now, not alone with my past and alone with the darkness, but then again I've been alone since that day. And as I began to fall asleep again I feel eyes on me again.

'_Stupid dobe. I told him to go to bed_.' but I pretended not to notice him.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

When I woke up, my back was ridged and sore, I felt as if I hadn't gotten any sleep at all. My head was pounding and all I wanted was to go back to bed, but I dreaded the thought of sleeping on the rough ground again. I don't remember the isolation room being this cold before. I rubbed my hands against the side of my arm in an effort to create some kind of relief from the cold, but it didn't work.

I was beginning to nod off again when I heard the heavy metallic creek of the large door being pulled open. For a moment I wasn't exactly sure what was happening, my mind was too clouded in half sleep. A ray of artificial light created by the lights outside the room caught me directly in the eye, and I had to wince and cover my face. After I regained my vision and all the little black spots were gone, I looked back up, shielding my eyes from the still bright light, and saw Kakashi standing at the junction between the hallway and the isolation room.

"Sasuke, have you thought about what you've done?" he asked from the doorway. I felt like a kindergartner in time-out, and I almost snorted at the question, but the serious look in Kakashi's eyes told me that I'd better answer right or I'd be spending a lot more time getting to know these same four walls.

"Yes?" I answered half unsure of myself.

He replied not looking overly excited with my answer "You'd better be. That nurse, Sakura, she's got a broken rib from you." I didn't know if I was supposed to feel bad for her or something, so I just pretended I did, hoping that that's what Kakashi wanted from me.

I knew he didn't buy my act, but he sighed and told me to get up none the less. I stood up and almost fell back down upon finding my legs half asleep and tingly, but I supported myself against the wall before I could fall.

I walked down the hall and I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I am some kind of celebrity around here and I hate it. I got to my room and found that the door was cracked open an inch or two, I was about to open the door and go crash on my bed, but inside I could hear someone.

I peeked in and wasn't too surprised to find Naruto sitting on his bed, but he was holding something in his hands and looking at it, just staring. From the size I could tell it was either a piece of paper or a photograph. He just kept staring at it, whatever it was. Finally I pushed the door open. Naruto looked startled and he quickly hide whatever he was holding behind his back, not before I saw that it was a photo, and looked up at me, trying, but failing miserably, to act normal.

"Whatcha got there dobe?" I asked tilting my head to the side trying to see behind his back. I could see him stiffen a little.

"Nothing," he replied and I knew he wanted me to drop it. I decided to humor him, besides; I didn't like to pry into other people's business, it wasn't my style, I like to keep to myself.

"Whatever." I mumbled back and threw myself onto my bed. He looked relieved when I hadn't asked him any more about it.

I was deathly tired, but despite that, I couldn't for the life of me get to sleep. I wanted sleep, but it seemed sleep didn't want me. I cursed under my breath, deciding it wasn't much use now, I was awake, and it'd be a while before I could get to sleep again.

I heard a grumbling sound come from the other side of the room and looked over to see Naruto I could see the embarrassed blush on his face and his hand shot to his stomach. I smirked at this before realizing that I too was hungry.

"Common dobe." I said as I stood up and made my way to the door. He looked momentarily confused before jumping up and following behind me. We walked down to the mess hall. There were only a few people there, mostly the stragglers trying to get their breakfast before it stopped being served. School cafeteria food is what I'm reminded of every time I come here to eat.

We get our food and sit at a long empty table, Naruto across from me. We don't talk; instead he just stares down at his plate and plays with his scrambled eggs with this weird far off look in his eyes. I was about to comment, but he snapped up his head and grinned at me as if expecting me not to notice that he's out of it. Fucking nut job this one is.

He stuffed his face as if he hadn't eaten in his whole life. He stopped mid chew when he noticed me staring at him. He swallowed his food in one big gulp and then crossed his arms and looked away from me. Ya this kid has to be on crack or something. He has to be. Although I was getting used to his random outbursts and stuff, he still managed to throw me off kilter a bit every now and then. With a full belly I started to feel tired again and I got up and began to make my way back to my room.

"Oi dog breath!" I heard a shout from behind me. I turned around and found Naruto with a few of the other patience, Kiba and Neji. I blinked when I noticed Neji's hand on Naruto's shoulder, but brushed it off, not knowing why it bothered me. He seemed so friendly with them. I couldn't help but be captivated by the sound of his laugh as it echoed through the room.

I closed the door behind me once I got to my bed room. I slung myself out onto my bed and closed my eyes, head buried in the cool pillow. I've always had a hard time getting to sleep, I must have lain there for at least an hour before I could finally feel myself drifting. I was almost asleep, so VERY close to actually falling asleep when I heard my door open. I growled into the pillow. Who the fuck had the nerve to wake me up?

I groaned and snapped my head up, getting ready to snap at whoever was in the door way, but I stopped. Standing there in the same white mini skirt and matching blouse stood the same nurse from before. For a moment I was at aloes for words, I had not been expecting to see her again. I frowned and stared at her wretched pink hair, I mean really, who in the fuck has pink hair, seriously.

I smirked slightly when I noticed her arm thrown up in a sling and I could see the bandages poking out from the end of her shirt and where the sleeves stopped. She fidgeted a bit in the doorway, and I noticed with pride that she made no move to actually enter the room. I guess you _can_ teach a new dog old tricks.

My confidence was shattered a bit though when she actually did take a step in, and held out a pair of plastic cups no less. I swear, if there's a god, he hates me. I swear this girl has some nerve. She's like a kicked puppy, just keeps coming back. What had Kakashi called her? Sakura? Persistent little bitch. I can't imagine they assigned her to bring me my pills again.

She took a few more steps towards me and I found myself scooting away from her a bit despite myself. She stopped and opened her mouth, probably to ask me something or give me instructions on what to do with the medicine, as if I was that dumb. She took another step towards me and I couldn't even hear what she was saying, I didn't care, all I could think about is how she was getting closer. I really wanted to yell at her or hit her again and get her to leave, but Kakashi had made it clear that I was walking on thin ice.

I just watched her with indifference in my eyes, knowing that she'd give up sooner or later, I was hopping It'd be sooner. She was saying something, I know she was because her lips where moving, and she was blushing and for the first time I noticed that her skirt was even shorter than it had been a couple of days ago. When she didn't stop coming towards me I wondered if she should be the one in this institution instead of me. I growled, but she didn't seem to be taking the hint.

"What are you doing here?" I heard a voice ask. I looked past the nurse and saw Naruto standing in the doorway looking confused and annoyed at the same time.

"I was just giving Sasuke his medicine, not that it is any of your concern." She snapped back at him in her squeaky voice. If there had been any mirrors in the room I'm sure they would have broken at the sound.

Naruto blinked at her, probably doubting her sanity much the way I was. He reached forward and grabbed the cups none too gently from the nurses hand, singular because the other was in the sling. "I'll make sure he takes them." Naruto said and smiled brightly at her and ushered her out of the room. Sakura protested but let herself be pushed out the door none the less. Naruto shut the door behind her and I could hear him grumbling something under his breath.

He walked towards me too and I almost couldn't help scooting back again. He didn't seem to notice though. He set the pair of cups on my night stand before retreating back to his own side of the room. I glanced out the window to the left of me and found realized that Naruto's hair was the same color as the sun. I almost laughed at that. It sounded so stupid coming from my thoughts. By the position of the sun I knew it was about noon, and I sighed. I'd still have to make it through the rest of this stupid day.

I glanced over at the cups on my table and debated whether to take them or not. I could always just chuck them and say I took them, but they always know. I don't know how, but they have their ways, especially Kakashi.

"What's the big deal with this place and their fricken pills." Naruto spoke up from across the room. For the first time I noticed that there was a matching pair of cups on his bedside table too.

"A couple years back one of the patience saved all their pills and tried to over dose on them, the doctors caught him before he did it though, so now their all anal about making sure we actually take the pills." I replied back reaching for one of the cups beside me. I'd left out the part about the patient being me, but he didn't need to know that, he probably wouldn't even care if he did.

I'd gotten so close too. I'd even managed to get some of the others to give me their pills too. I had to have had at least 15 or 20, that suerly would have been enough to kill me, but I'd waited too long.

I sighed and gulped down the pills dry, without the water. Naruto did the same, mumbling something under his breath again as he sipped a bit of the water. I reclined back onto my bed, arms behind my head and just stared up at the ceiling. Naruto pulled out a book, which struck me as funny because he didn't look like a literary person. We sat in silence for a while when I decided to try and catch up on my sleep while I could.

I closed my eyes and just relaxed, waiting for sleep. I was only half awake when I heard a rustle from across the room. I ignored it and kept my eyes closed but when I heard it again I couldn't help but peak out from behind my eyelid to see what the sound was.

Sitting crossed legged on his bed sat Naruto, and in his hands he was holding something and just staring at it, staring through it. His eyes weren't the same color as the sky I had looked at longingly from my window anymore; instead his eyes were clouded and distant. I wondered briefly if that's what I look like when I'm lost in thought too.

And then I noticed. Naruto was staring at the same photograph that he had been this morning.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

When I woke up again my eyes met total darkness. I blinked a few time, expecting my vision to return to me as I did so, but it didn't. I glanced out the blotted window to my left and saw the same night sky that I'd seen from this same window every night for almost 10 years. But tonight I saw something else in the empty sky, I saw the moon, full and shining brightly over everything it touched. It was not only one of the most captivating sights I'd ever seen, but also one of the most eerie.

I couldn't recall exactly why the full moon made me uneasy, but I found myself sitting up in bed, wishing I hadn't woken up at all. My limbs where still slightly limp from sleep and my eyes burned a bit when the oxygen hit them. I glanced over to the other side of the room, expecting to see a pair of insomnia filled blue eyes, but I only found those eyes closed and his body sleeping, quite a rare occasion I guess. He sighed and rolled over, almost falling off the side of the bed. I saw his eyeball twitching under its lid and I knew he'd been fighting off sleep; he'd probably only gotten to sleep a little while ago.

My thoughts wondered absently to thoughts of my old roommate. He reminded me so much, yet so little of Naruto. They were alike but different in every way possible. From the complexion of their skin to their hospital records. But because they were alike I couldn't help the name the slipped through my lips.

"Gaara."

The covers slipped down Naruto's bare chest and came to rest by his hips, just below his bellybutton, and again I realized what complete opposites my last roommate and my current one were. Bathed in the light of the full moon weaving in through the window, Gaara had looked sickly and depressed, but Naruto, Naruto looked like someone who'd never need to step foot in a mental hospital, let alone be registered into one. That's where Gaara and Naruto's differences come in. But as I said before, they are so much alike. Does that mean that he'll leave me too, leave me to rot in this hell hole just as Gaara did?

I shook my head and tried to dispel the thought, in fact I tried to dispel all thoughts, on everything. If I didn't think, then I couldn't feel, and if I couldn't feel, I couldn't get hurt. Not that anyone could hurt me, no, I won't ever let myself be hurt again. Not like I'd been hurt by Gaara, not like I'd been hurt by Itachi.

"Itachi." The name drips from my lips with all the hatred I have bottled up inside of me. You'd think over the years my hate would dull, but it hadn't.

The name tastes so bitter on my lips and burns my tongue. Even in his death he is taunting me. Every time I look in the mirror I wonder if I'm just like him.

I brushed my feet testily against the floor as I began to stand from my bed. There I stood, clad only in a pair of loose fitting grey sweat pants. I opened the door slowly and left the confinements of it, not even bothering to put on a pair of shoes or socks.

The hospital is a ghost town at night. The halls are dark and only slightly illuminated by the lamps coming from the nurse's station down the hall. I spare one look back at my room and one towards the nurse's station before I go in the opposite direction. Down the hall and above me I find the familiar hatch on the wall that pulls open a set of stairs from within the ceiling. It pulls down smoothly and I descend up it and pull the hatch shut behind me. The hatch blends into the ceiling quite nicely and it's hard to reach since there's no string or anything attached to it, but I've never had any problem finding my way up it. I doubt many people even know that it's here. The staff use the regular stairway or even the elevator to get to the roof, both of which are located on the opposite side of the nurse's station. If I wanted to go up those, I'd have to sneak past them.

When I got to the top I pulled myself out and onto the roof. I curse under my breath for not bringing a jacket or at least a blanket, but I quickly got used to the numbing feeling shooting through me. I inhaled the night air finding only a hint of stale cigarette smoke in the air. Most of the staff come up here sometimes to have a smoke or relax, but the night nurses don't smoke, I've done my homework. I made my way over to the edge of the building. All around the edge there is a small fence about 5 feet tall, and I lean against it, gazing at the court yards below me. Large courtyards filled with trees and tall grass, courtyards that the people here never get to touch. They're just there to make the place look nice, to make it look like the doctors here give a damn.

I face my back to the fence and slide to the ground, back to the fence and one knee propped up near my chest that I rest my head on. By now my skin is tingly and numbed from the cold, but I don't let it bother me. The full moon is lighting up everything and I close my eyes, relaxing in the only place that makes me feel safe here.

I don't know if I dozed off or if I was just so out of it that I didn't hear the footsteps on the roof. All I know is that all of a sudden I was engulfed in a shadow of someone standing in front of me, blocking out the light from the moon. I cracked open one of my eyes and looked up into blue one's. I feel a weird sense that this has happened before, and I can't help recalling the incident in the Isolation room.

Naruto grins down at me, the moonlight hitting him again, just as it had in the room. I open my other eye and blink up at him.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asks me before slipping down a few inches beside me on the ground.

"Isn't that my line?" I reply.

He laughs quietly under his breath and leans his head back against the bars of the fence behind us. The moonlight is surrounding him again and I find myself staring. Apparently he'd thrown on a T-shirt in addition to his sweats before coming up here. The large white shirt is entirely too big for him and the neck line jettisons down to expose his neckline and shoulder on one side. I catch myself before he can and look away, staring off into the sky wondering if there are any stars out tonight.

Suddenly I hear slow quiet humming coming from beside me. I crane my neck around and find Naruto's eyes closed, but I can see the small vibrations throughout his throat. I don't know the song he's humming and it doesn't sound at all familiar, but there's something slightly happy about it even in the slow melody. I sigh and close my eyes as well, setting my chin back in its previous place on my knee, noticing for the first time how pale I look in the moonlight.

When the humming stops I keep my eyes closed and the silence between us isn't at all unnerving. We just sat there, listening to the silent howl of the wind and the rustle of leaves against the ground, and there's never been a time I've felt so safe. I squint open one of my eyes when I feel a light touch to my scalp. I almost jerk back when I find Naruto's eyes fixed on mine and his fingers twisting a lock of my hair, but his eyes hold me in place.

The touch burns. As he trails his fingers through my scalp I can feel the warm trail they leave behind. I have never been touched like this. I sat completely still, his eyes still locked onto mine, waiting to see what he'd do next.

He lightly scrapes his nails across my scalp, alternating between applying a lot of pressure and only a bit. His eyes are so intent, and his wild blond hair looks, if possible, even more untamed than normal, with that whole 'just got out of bed' fell that I'm sure mine has too. I can't help but lean into his touch.

_I've never likes being touched, and this was the first time I'd been touched like this._ The thought keeps repeating through my brain, and I don't know if it's because I believe it or because I'm trying to convince myself he won't hurt me.

His fingers ghost over the shell of my ear and I try to repress a shiver, one that if anyone asked, I'd blame on the wind. The fingers work their way down a bit and begin to scrape against my neck and collar bone, so lightly I'm not even sure if it's real.

I close my eyes and let his fingers continue to tease my skin. Maybe it was when his fingers began to move lower to my chest, or maybe it was his breaths against my ear, but somewhere along the way, I knew this had to stop.

My already stiff body goes ridged, and as a try to calm myself down I let out a heavy sigh.

His other hand wove back up through my hair and suddenly I couldn't breathe. Suddenly thoughts of Itachi flashed through my head, my parent's death, my friends suicide. Suddenly Naruto was touching me and I didn't like it. I tipped my head back trying to escape his touches, but he wasn't seeming to get the message.

He stopped for a moment, looking at me inquisitively and I can't help but wonder how many people he's done this to before, but as he touched me my memories faded away, and all I could think about was Naruto. His fingers continued their path down my chest.

Funny, I'd always figured Naruto would be Uke, not that I'd been thinking about that sort of thing with Naruto. My head lightly bumps against the rail of the fence behind us and Naruto laughs slightly under his breath and all I can manage out is a weak growl.

"Dobe." I mutter under my breath, pretending I can't see the huge smile already forming on his face. He lightly ghosts his lips over mine, and that's all it takes.

I grab hold of his wrists and flip us around so that he's beneath me. He looks up more than a bit confused, and all I can do is smirk down at him. I felt the fear creep up on me, but the burning in my jeans was much stronger, so with him below me I decided to give him the same treatment he had given me. Never really having physical contact before made me inexperianced, but everything just came so naturally. I didn't even need to think, my body just moved on it's own. With the hand not holding his wrist I run my fingers through his hair and marvel at how thick it is compared to mine, and I'm surprised at how soft it is. Slowly I lean down towards him, never taking my eyes off of his and brush my lips lightly against his as he had just done to me. I do it a second time and I can hear his breathing much louder than it usually is. So I decide to stop teasing him.

This time I kiss him full on, removing the hand from his wrist and cupping his chin with it. Now that his hands are free he begins to thread them through my locks again. When his tongue laps at my lip I open it to him immediately. The kiss is slow and gentle at first, and I let him dominate the it. Slowly the kiss becomes more heated. I sucked lazily at his tongue, but began to suck harder when he moaned into my mouth. I released his tongue and nibbled softly at his bottom lip before pulling back from the kiss.

His hands are still buried in my hair and one of mine cups his face, while the other cups the small of his back. His tanned cheeks are more than a little flushed and it only deepens at the smirk I send his way. I lean back down until my face is in the crook of his neck. I lick his neck slowly somehow loving the taste of the sweat on his flesh. Lightly, I blow over the wet area of his neck, watching him shudder under me. I can't help but smirk into his neck again. My hands trail under his oversized shirt and over his nipples, the noises he makes only encouraging me. I begin to suck and nibble at the junction where his collar bone and neck meet. His hands are fisted in my hair now, and he's pulling me closer to him.

I pull back a little and I can see his eyes glazed over and I can see that he's given himself to me completely, and that scared me. His innocent eyes clouded over with lust, lust that shouldn't be there and complete trust, trust that I didn't deserve. Naruto was beneath me and more than willing, but I couldn't shake the thought that I was taking advantage of him, or that somehow he was taking advantage of me. I pulled away completely, standing up and turning around, back to him. It would never work.

"What's wrong?" He utters, totally lost, and I can't say anything, my voice won't work. I ignore him and start walking away.

"What the _hell,_" He's yelling now. "You some kind of whore or something Sasuke? I ain't good enough for ya? Or do you just want that Gaara guy or the Itachi one."

I snap around towards him realizing for the first time that he must have been awake when I'd uttered Gaara and Itachi's name.

"What the fuck do you know kid," I bark back at him. "What could you _possibly_ know?" I know I'm screaming now, but I don't care. What gives him the right to speak of things that he knows nothing about? What gives him the right to bring up my past, my past that he knew nothing about?

He's standing by now. Standing right in front of me. "That's it isn't it," he whispers in my ear, "You've got some other little whores to fuck don't'cha?"

His eyes are almost glowing. They look red.

I push him away from me, my fear of human contact suddenly rearing it's head. I can't even look at him. How can he say something like that, does he even realize what he's saying?

"That's right Sasuke, just walk away from me; I bet you walk away from everyone don't you." And his words hurt, because although he has no clue what he'd talking about, they still hurt. He's got no clue that Itachi killed my family, he's got no clue that Gaara threw himself from the very roof we are standing on, that he was my only friend here. Naruto has no idea, yet he can say those things like he knows exactly what he's talking about.

I stop walking, I can almost feel the prick of tears behind my eyes, but I haven't cried in years, and I don't plan to start now. Naruto's standing again, and this time he's right behind me. I swing around and shove my fist into his stomach, and watch as he falls to the ground again. I kneel down beside him.

"What about you Naru-chan," I whisper harshly, "You've got your own dirty little secrets don't you." I say remembering the photo from earlier. I continue, "Say whatever the hell you want about me, I don't give a rat's ass, but you leave their names out of this." I growl at him and make my way back to the hatch.

"Whore." He grits out from the ground.

"Kinda hard to have sex with the deceased Naruto, especially when one's your brother." I can almost see the realization and guilt dawn in his suddenly less hazy blue eyes, but I just don't care anymore. I open the hatch and close it sharply behind me.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6  
**_By Pocky Whore_

When I got back to the room I slammed the door behind me, not caring one bit if I happened to wake someone up or alert one of the night nurses. The room was still dark and I didn't bother to turn on the lights, I knew my way around this room blind folded; besides it wasn't all that dark, the moon still shone proudly through the window. I practically threw myself into bed, facing the wall and screwing my eyes shut.

My skin felt as if there were bugs beneath it. Every part of me that Naruto had touched burned. I wanted nothing more at this moment to just rip the flesh off my bones so that I couldn't feel the small tingle against my skin where Naruto's hands had been. Suddenly I was reminded exactly why I hate being touched. For a moment, when Naruto had been touching me, I hadn't been afraid. But now I remembered why I was afraid. Because letting people touch me will cause pain. Letting Naruto touch me had only brought about bad things.

I know I must have just lain there in bed for at least an hour trying to fall asleep again, but I knew sleep wasn't going to come easy to me tonight, and probably not any other night in the near future.

When I heard the door open and the hesitant footsteps, I didn't move. I stayed perfectly still, kept my breathing even and my eyes shut. After a moment or two he shut the door behind him and I heard his footsteps against the tile. I opened my eyes and I could see Naruto's reflection in the window that I was facing. I couldn't make out his actual features but I could see his slightly slumped form less than a foot from my bed. I watched his reflection, watched his mouth open and close a few times as if he was trying to figure out what to say, or if even to say anything at all.

"Sasuke." He said and although I knew he was trying not to sound as if he was about to cry, I could still hear the shack in his voice. I didn't want to hear it from him. At the moment the last thing I wanted was to see, let alone speak to the dobe. So, I didn't respond.

"Sasuke, damn it I know your awake." I wondered briefly how he'd seen through me so easily, but it didn't matter

"Sasuke, _Please_." He was begging now. I tried to tell myself I didn't care. I tried to tell myself that he deserved any ounce of guilt that he was feeling right now, but somewhere deep in the place in my chest where I was relatively sure I had a heart, I knew I was lying to myself. But that didn't mean I'd forgive him, at least not that easily.

I felt a weight on my bed and I snapped my eyes back to his reflection only to see him sitting beside me on the bed, head slightly bowed and hair shadowing his eyes. He lifted his hand over towards me and lightly touched my shoulder. I flinched and pulled away from his touch. In the reflection I could see him looking between his hand and me and then I watched him clutch his hand to his chest and get up off the bed and walk over to his.

Sleep came shortly after that, although I wouldn't be surprised if Naruto hadn't slept so easily.

When I woke up the first thing I noticed, other than the blinding light and black spots every time I blinked, was that Naruto wasn't in his bed, and a pair of plastic cups were on his night stand, still full. I glanced over at my night stand and saw a similar pair of cups. I gulped down the pills dry, still clinging to some hope that I'd choke on them, and I wondered briefly why Naruto hadn't taken his when he'd woken up this morning.

I shrugged it off and slipped out of bed. I slipped on one of my clean shirts, one of the only one's that the hospital had allowed me to keep. I began to walk over to the bed when I noticed something under Naruto's bed. I squatted down next to his bed and pulled out the plain cardboard shoe box from beneath it. My hands hesitated near the lid. Did I really have any right to go through his personal stuff? Then again Naruto had been medaling in my life last night. If Naruto could meddle around in my life, didn't that give me permission to meddle in his? I spared one more long glance at the box before pushing it back under the bed where it had been. Opening it just wouldn't feel right.

I stepped out of my room and began to walk towards the mess hall. As I got closer to it I could hear some commotion coming from inside. I wasn't too worried about it though, it was probably just two of the patience fighting over something or some kid who'd forgotten to take his medicin and was spazzing out, but when I got to the entrance way I stopped dead in my tracks.

There on the ground thrashing and being restrained by the doctors was Naruto.

He was kicking and screaming at the doctors that were trying to hold him down. One of them went flying at the force of Naruto's kick, and another took his place, grabbing hold of the flying limb.

I stood in the door way, partially leaning on the frame and I couldn't move. My full attention was focused on the blond boy on the floor. He was screaming incoherent things at the doctors in a voice that I had never heard from him. I wasn't even sure that it was Naruto's voice. Because even as his mouth moved and sound came out in screeches, it didn't sound like Naruto's voice. For some reason the scene made my stomach churn.

Kakashi came running past me, and as he bumped into me I fell sprawled out on the ground too. I sat up holding my injured head that had had a nice run in with the hard tile floor. I shook my head a few times before placing my gaze back at the still struggling boy a few feet away from me. I kept my gaze on him, not even noticing the yells from the doctors to the nurses.

"We have a stage 3!" One yelled.

"His pulse rate is racing!" screamed another as the blond continued to thrash beneath the doctors.

"He didn't take his medicine!" Yelled one of the nurses behind me in the door way.

The pink haired nurse from before ran past me, almost stepping on me in the process, and she handed Kakashi a very long needle. Naruto must have seen it because his attempt to escape the doctors strengthened. He fought off the doctors with his hands, feet, teeth and nails. Him not seeming to care about the blood dripping from his mouth, and the doctors not seeming to care about the bruises on their sides.

Kakashi grabbed the needle from Sakura and in one quick movement jabbed it into Naruto's side, pushing down on the back, ejecting some type of sedative into his blood stream.

Naruto continued to lash out at the doctors still restraining him, and it seemed the sedative hadn't done anything, but eventually his movements became more sluggish and delayed than they had been a moment ago. His head swiveled around and his eyes darted furiously around the mess hall. And then his eyes locked onto mine and I almost winced. His eyes weren't the same blue color or even hazy, they shone a crimsoned colored that put blood to shame.

Those aren't his eyes, I told myself. Those aren't Naruto's eyes.

He kept his eyes locked with mine and felt myself flinching away from his look. His eyes flamed red, his nails and eerily enough his teeth dripped with the blood of the doctors that he'd been fighting off. Everything about the boy in front of me was wrong.

Slowly his eyes shut and his body became lack as the sedative began to take a hold of him.

Kakashi and some of the other male doctors picked up the motionless boy and took him out of the room, but my eyes where still locked onto the bloody space on the ground.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**By PockyWhore**

The rest of the day went by in a haze.

After the incident it the mess hall, I had lost my appetite completely. All the patience were sent back to their rooms and told to remain in them for the rest of the day, and we all knew what this meant, even those who hadn't been there to witness the scene, being confined to your rooms always meant something had happened.

I spent the rest of the day in my room staring out the window by my bed, wishing I could just break through its bolted frame and escape these same white walls. I was painfully aware of my missing roommate all day. The quite that I had once been so fond of, suddenly was choking me. Every part of me was going crazy. I'd been alone almost all my life, but this time it was different from before.

I sat on my bed and watched the sun rise in the sky slowly, hour by hour and minuet by minuet until it was high in the sky. I found myself captivated with it, just watching the sun was enough for me. I imagined some of the other kids in this ward who didn't have windows, in so many ways they were lucky, for they didn't have to sit and watch this other world outside the window that had seemed to forget about them. They didn't have to watch cars drive by and people walk by happy and safe and secure in their own lives, not giving a damn about the people rotting away in the building of their passing.

So yes, the other kids were lucky, but at the same time they weren't. Some of the kids here had never seen the light of day, at least not that they can remember, and some never would get to see it. I at least had the window to show me that there_ is_ an outside world, there is a world without pills and blood, but that world has forgotten about us.

I reached under my bed and pulled out my simple silver and blue CD player and pulled out the few CD's I had, CD's that I had long ago memorized every song on them. I had a CD or two from before I'd been admitted into the hospital, and a few that Kakashi had gotten me. He's pretty lenient with the rules regarding simple stuff like cloths and music, so he brings me CD's sometimes.

I popped in a random CD because it really wasn't going to be listening to the music anyways; I just needed something to keep my mind off of other things. I'd listened to the whole CD twice before the sun finally began to set in a flurry of pinks and yellows. That's when Kakashi came in.

Kakashi stepped in looking tired, but he still managed to smile down at me from the door way. In one hand he held a tray of food, probably dinner since we aren't allowed to leave the room, and in his other hand a pair of, you guessed it, plastic cups.

"Eat up, Sasuke!" he said as he set the food down on my bedside table. I just stared at the food, my stomach churning; food was one of the last things I wanted right now.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi asked after a moment. He must have seen the look on my face.

"Nothing," I replied not even meeting his gaze, "I'm just not hungry."

In an instant I found myself pinned to the bed and I could feel Kakashi's hands pulling at my shirt.

"Hey! What are you _doing,_ get _off _me hentai!" I yelled, more like screamed. It didn't matter what Kakashi was doing, all I knew was that his hands were on me. Sure Kakashi was one of the only doctors I'd let touch me, but this was a bit too much. Kakashi must have tuned in to the fear in my voice, because he pulled back quickly and gave me an apologizing look.

"Sorry, Sasuke, just take off your shirt would ya?"

I raised my eyebrow at him before pulling my shirt up over my head and setting it on the bed beside me. I watched Kakashi take in my bare chest and I didn't really mind, as long as he wasn't touching me.

"Just as I thought." He proclaimed.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, not entirely sure I wanted to know the answer.

"Sasuke, remember the physical we had a few weeks ago?"

"Ya, what about it?"

"Sasuke you only weighed less than 140 pounds. You're well under weight for a 17 year old. Way under weight."

I just blinked at him and looked down at myself. Sure I'm skinny, but its not like I'm tiny or anything.

"I'll be coming back later to get your tray, and all the food had better be eaten off of it." He said firmly before he turned and began to walk back towards the door, sparing one long glance at the still full cups on Naruto's side of the room before leaving.

I looked down at myself again and for the first time noticed the light outline of my ribs, I don't remember those being there yesterday. I glanced back at the food, and despite not having an appetite, my stomach growled its protest. So I decided to humor it and Kakashi. I imagine this is what School food is like.

I ate the food greedily, leaving only a few scraps on the plate when my stomach had reached its fill. The sun had set long ago and my room was bathed with artificial light from the lamp on my table. I flipped off the light and laid myself down on my bed on top of the covers, not bothering to put on my shirt again.

I watched the moon rise in place of the sun and the stars dot the blank sky. I had a strong urge to go to the roof to look at the sky and just get out of this room, but security was probably extra tight tonight, besides, the roof didn't exactly hold the best memories anymore.

"_Whore."_

"_You've got some other little whores to fuck don't'cha"_

"_That's right Sasuke, just walk away from me; I bet you walk away from everyone don't you"_

I sighed and picked up my headphones again, putting the volume on as loud as it would go, hoping that it could drown out those words that were ringing over and over again in my mind.

When I could feel sleep tugging at the sides of my subconscious, I turned off my CD player and tucked it back under my bed in the top corner closest to the wall. Then I laid myself back on the back on my back, and counted the cracks in the ceiling, only getting to 156 before falling into blackness.

Deep even breaths. In and out, In and Out, a pattern I had learned long ago. In and out, Inhale and Exhale. Breathing is so easy from the moment you're born. You're born with the knowledge that you need air to live, that if you can't breathe, you can't live.

So when I woke up in the middle of the night not being able to breath I knew something was very wrong.

I struggled for breath and my throat burned and my eyes watered. I strained open my eyes when I felt something pushing on me. Unless I had recently forgotten how to breathe, then something was hindering my lungs. I opened my eyes and met blood red ones.

I gasped and choked desperately, kicking and scratching at the blond boy that had his hands around my throat. His blood red eyes locked onto mine and I saw the slight smile on his face as a gurgling noise escaped my deprived lungs. The boys tanned hands wrapped possessively around my frail neck, squeezing tightly until all I could see was whit spots.

A million things were running through my head, but most of all, 'Why.'

And then in the very back of my mind I realized this wasn't the first time I'd woken up to insomnia filled eyes hovering above me and hands at my throat.

'Gaara,' I thought dejectedly, 'Gaara did this too.'

"_Why?" I asked as I gasped to fill up my lings that were almost empty. Every breathe burned and my eyes watered heatedly._

_Gaara wouldn't look at me. His eyes were locked on his trembling hands, hands that a moment ago had been strangling the life from my body._

"_I…I didn't mean to. I couldn't help it." He said dully, his hands still shacking and his eyes wide in disbelief._

"_Then why?" I repeated as my breathes came back in short sprits._

"_I…it's my illness. I, I have multiple personalities." He bowed his head, letting his red hair shield his tired eyes._

"Nnaru." I gasped out desperately.

"Nar.."

"Naruto!" I gathered as much air in me as I could so that I could scream out to him, hoping, praying that Naruto would wake up. For a moment his eyes flashed blue, but it was gone in an instant and they were red again.

The blond leaned down towards me and I could feel his breath on the shell of my ear as I continued to gasp for air.

"My name's Kyuubi, kid. Best remember it." He whispered in my ear.

"Nnaruto!" I whispered.

"He can't hear you." Kyuubi purred into my skin.

"Na…ru..to." I gasped out with the last of the air in my lung.

Suddenly air filled my lungs and I found myself gasping and sucking in as much air as my lungs could hold.

I brought my hand up to my bruised neck as I breathed in deeply. When I could see straight again I turned my gaze to Naruto. He stared at me with wide blue eyed and trembling hands

He swung his eyes away from me, refusing to meet my gaze and turned and began to run for the door, his whole body shacking. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and grabbed his hand before he could make it to the door. He froze and turned his head towards me, tears pooled at his eyelids, but hadn't yet fallen.

"I…I'm sorry." He whispered before yanking his hand from mine and bolting out of the room.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**Insanity  
Chapter 8 **

_**By PockyWhore**_

The next day I spent most of the day seeking out Naruto. I knew he had to be blaming himself for what happened, and I had to let him know I didn't blame him, well not exactly. I actually know quite a few people with his particular illness, and I know how hard they are on themselves for not being able to be in control of their own bodies. It's actually got to be a really scary thing to have no control.

I looked everywhere, mess hall, living area, bathrooms, heck I checked our room again, but my efforts were in vain witch annoyed me to no end. The blue eyed boy appeared to have dropped off the face of the planet, or at least the Insane Ward.

So when I saw a tuff of blond hair run past me I immediately followed it down the hall. The blond ran down the hall going who knows where. When I finally cornered the blond, I was depressed and a slight bit confused, to find that it was only Ino. How I'd mistaken her long white blond hair for Naruto's spiky golden ones, I'll never know.

"Ino." I spoke and she immediately assumed the typical fan girl pose by sticking out her chest and tossing her hair over her shoulders, trying to make herself appear more attractive I guess.

"Yes Sasuke-kun?" she replied silkily and even batted her eyelashes a few times girlishly. I inwardly groaned.

"Have you," I pause seeing her look up at me excitedly, and I had to remind myself that this was all for Naruto's sake. "Have you seen Naruto?" Her features immediately sunk at the mention of something other than herself, or perhaps at the mention of Naruto, I'm not sure which. She drops the fan girl pose and sighs sullenly under her breath and turned her face away from me.

"Did," She starts looking blankly at the wall, "Did something else happen?" I hesitate and slowly nod my head. As I do I can see the wince that she holds back. I've never seen her like this. She's usually rude and loud, but not like this, never like this.

"I, well I think he's in the isolation room." For a moment I'm confused again, but regarding his little stunt in the mess hall yesterday it does make sense. I nod and begin to make my way towards the Isolation room on the other side of the building, but before I can take more than a few steps her voice stops me. Not really because of what she was saying, but the way her voice cracked a little that made me look back. "Sasuke," I turn my head "He, well me and him talk sometimes and, I donno, It's just…Take care of him okay?" I look back at her furrowing my eyebrows before realization dawns on me.

Ino.

Ino has Multiple Personalities too.

It makes sense they'd talk.

"It's just, well, he really didn't want to hurt you, and, and… I know it's just got to be tarring him apart." She looked about ready to cry but she smiled up at me none the less, she knew his pain. I stared down at her for a second, her teary eyes, her distant look, and suddenly my stomach was churning. Did she know something I didn't? A feeling of dread washed over me.

I sprinted off towards the isolation room, leaving a still silent Ino behind me. I ran down the hall until I could see the iron door in my sight and I picked up my pace, running towards it. A million things were running through my mind, and I just had to get there, I just had to see him to prove myself wrong to prove that I was just overreacting. Before I could reach it however, Kakashi appeared out of nowhere in front of me, blocking the hall, blocking my only rout to Naruto.

"Go back to your room, Sasuke." He spoke evenly down at me. I growled under my breath and attempted to push past him, but his strength greatly outweighed mine and it was a losing battle on my part, maybe Kakashi had been right about me needing to gain a little more weight.

"Let me through Kakashi." I snarled at him, but he didn't budge, not even an inch.

"No Sasuke, he, he doesn't want to see you." I kept fighting him off until his words sank in and I stopped in my tracks. Doesn't want to see me? I felt like throwing up. He didn't want to see me?

"Besides," Kakashi continued, his voice still even but his gaze hard, "I know what happened last night. I don't know how, but Naruto managed to find his way out of the Isolation room and I saw it all happen Sasuke," My heart stopped, "You know Sasuke I could get him transferred for something like this. This place is Naruto's last chance. After this there is no where else, you're lucky I've decided to let this one slide." I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Go back to your room now Sasuke." This time, I didn't protest, I couldn't.

I walked back to my room, my empty room, and sat on my bed, just staring at the bed that Naruto had once occupied and my throat burned and my lungs clenched, worse than they had when Naruto had nearly strangled me. Being alone hurt so much more.

As the afternoon slowly faded away and was replaced by evening I found myself in the same place that I'd been for hours, alone in my one window room staring at Naruto's side of the room. When I'd had no roommate I'd never felt lonely. Why all of a sudden was the quiet so disturbing, when I'm so used to it? Slowly my eyes wondered around the rest of his side before coming to rest on the cardboard shoe box tucked under his bed, yet poking out just enough to tempt me. I told myself it was wrong, but my body moved on its own and before I knew it I was kneeling down in front of his bed, one hand on the box, and the other on the lid.

I paused for a minuet telling myself again and again that I shouldn't be doing this, but my curiosity was peeked and by now no rational thought in the world could stop me. I wanted to know what was in that box. I had to know. If for no other reason than to feed my curiosity, then so be it. I began to peel off the lid but stopped half way. Could I really do this? Could I really go through Naruto's personal stuff like this? It wasn't right. Could I really do this to him?

Yes, I could.

I pulled back the lid and set it on the ground. There is no going back now. I took a deep breath before diving into the contents of the box. Papers small and little littered the inside of the box, mostly just notes and receipts, and even a movie ticket or two. Seeing this mad me slightly happy. If Naruto had been to movies that meant he'd had a chance to at least experience some of life before it was sucked away from him and he was shipped off to the loony bin.

Underneath the papers was a small pile of photographs. Most were of a young Naruto with whom I assumed by the hair and eyes was his father. In all the pictures he was smiling so wide that his grin stretched from one side of his face from the other. And his eyes shone brightly. The pictures almost made me sad. I'd never seen Naruto smile like that. Never like this. Compared to this picture, all Naruto's smiles since I've met him would never compare.

I'm not sure how long I stared at the pictures. The pictures showed a side of Naruto that I have never met; they showed a happy, carefree, cute little boy, not the strained smiles and forced laughs that I see everyday. Now I felt guilty. I was never supposed to see these pictures. Because now I knew everything I knew about him was fake. But could I really blame him? Hadn't I done the same thing to him? Hid?

I sighed and began to place the papers and pictures back into the box when something caught my eye. I shuffled around in the box before finding a small stack of 2 to 3 more pictures. I wasn't going to look at them, that is, until I saw exactly what was on the pictures. At first I was surprised and then I couldn't stop my blush. Naruto had pictures of me? Two of them were of me sleeping; one with my shirt on, the other without, and the last picture was of me just leaning against a wall, my face turned slightly away so that you could only see my profile.

I stared at the pictures trying to figure out if I should be flattered or creped out. I decided to go with flattered since they weren't exactly stalkerish. At least he didn't have any of me in the shower or something. I blushed. And where the hell had Naruto gotten his hands on a camera? I flipped the pictures over and groaned when I spotted the trade mark Sasuke Fan Club sticker on the back. So he'd bought these? That was maybe even a little bit weirder, but made me smile at the same time. Although I was disturbed that people were making a profit off of pictures of me.

I smirked down at the pictures. I could just imagine the blond blushing and tripping over his words trying to buy these pictures off of one of the girls.

I collected all the stuff I'd taken out of the box and was about to place it all back into the box when yet again something at the very bottom of the box caught my eye. Face down at the bottom of the box was what looked like a single Polaroid photo. For some reason I felt I should leave it be. I felt bad enough about going through his personal possessions, but this picture at the bottom, it looked like it was there for a reason. I reached in and picked up the picture because I've already gone too far to go back, and what's a look at one more picture among countless others?

I brought the picture out of the box, still facing down so that I couldn't see what the actual picture was of. In one smooth quick movement I flipped the picture onto its back. For a moment I almost mistook the picture for another one of me, but I immediately knew it wasn't me. I dropped the picture and it floated to the floor. I couldn't keep my eyes off of it. My throat burned and my lungs choked, and I felt like throwing up.

It was a picture of him. A picture of the man who murdered my Mother, my Father, the man that'd in one instant had stolen away everything familiar to me. And there next to the man in my nightmares was a little blond boy with blue eyes looking up at him adoringly.

I threw up.

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**Insanity**

**Chapter 9  
By PockyWhore**

Everything about the picture was wrong.

Everything.

The way Naruto's eyes sparkled, sparkled in a way that I myself have never seen. The small beginnings of a smile tugging onto the face of the other in the picture as he looked down at the blond boy who's hand was in mid pull of his shirt hem when the picture had been snapped. Everything was wrong. The way the flowers bloomed casually in the background and the grass seemed green and fresh. None of it seemed right. It was all wrong. Oh so very very wrong. I couldn't pull my eyes from the older boy in the picture. His face in all these years had never left my mind, it's burned into my memory, haunting me at every chance it gets. I'll never forget his face, and now looking upon it the memory is even fresher in my mind. I can almost taste the blood in my mouth again; I can almost feel my mother's cold flesh against my hands, the shards of glass pressed into my feet, the strong hands around my neck, I can almost hear my brother's deep cold voice.

_"Look again little brother."_

_"What's wrong Sasuke-kun?"_

_"Do you hate me?"_

_"Good."_

I'm shacking now. I clasp my hands over my ears, desperatly trying to drown out his voice, but it isn't working. I can't think. I want to tear the picture to shreds and burn it and then spit on it when it is nothing but ashes. I want any proof of Itachi's existence to be erased. My fingers twitch against the glossy photo in my hands and I want so badly to just rip it, I can't hurt Itachi, no, he's already dead and paying for his sins in hell, but I wish so much that I could feel him helpless and bloody beneath my hands, like I'd been in his.

He's taken everything away from me, my family, my innocents, my life, my pride, he took it all and left me with nothing. I can't even have revenge on him. He'd taken that away from me too. I bite my lip and close my eyes, but when I open them again nothing has changed. There must be some mistake. This is all just some joke, right? Just some twisted sick joke.

My eyes scan over the rest of the picture coming to rest on the younger boy in the photo. My heart sinks at the look in the blonde's eyes. He looks so trusting of the man who is my family's killer. He has no clue of the blood that stains that man's dead hands; I can see the adoration in his eyes. It hurts. My chest, it hurts so much. I can't breathe; I don't think I want to. Suddenly the door opens, and my whole world stops. My breath catches and I don't want to look up at whoever is at the door way. I don't want to know.

"Sasuke-kun?"

I hear a feminine voice whisper. I hate the way my name sounds on her lips. I snap my head towards the sound. It's that damn nurse again. The same damn nurse from before, short skirt, sling and all. I glare at her, and then turn my head away, my damn pride won't let her see how shaken up I am. I just want her to leave.

Oh please just let her leave.

"Sasuke-kun!"

No Such luck.

She tries again, this time louder, but I stay silent, hoping that she'll get the hint. Before I know what's happening she's kneeling down beside me on the floor. Her eyes sweep over me and then the pile of puke about a foot away from us and I can see worry in her eyes. It almost makes me laugh. It's not like she really cares anyway. It's not like any of them do. Not really. She reaches her hand out towards me and I growled under my breath, this is so not what I need right now. She must have heard it because she pulled back.

"Why don't you go take a shower or something Sasuke-kun, I'll clean up the mess in here." She pauses, "or would you like me to call in the doctor?"

The thought of being drugged out of my mind so bad that I can't remember my first name is quite appealing, but I know that'd just be running away. My hold on the picture tightens and I stand up, kicking the cardboard box back under Nartuo's bed, some of the papers where still on the ground, as well as the lid, but I just pushed it all under in a pile, keeping the picture for myself. The nurse leaves the room to fetch a mop and I slip the picture under my pillow and leave the room, heading for the bathroom.

No sooner had I stepped into the shower when it all hit me. This is real. Naruto, my roommate, he knew my brother, correction, he adored my brother. I felt sick all over again. I leaned against the wall of the individual shower and let my head thump against the hard tile behind it, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything but the pounding of my heart and the clutching of my lungs. I couldn't feel the blood trickling down the back of my head from repetitively thumping it against the wall, nor could I feel the burning water scorching my skin. None of it seemed to matter anyways. I wrapped my hands around my shoulders and rocked myself. I let out a loud laugh at how pathetic I am, but even the laugh sound hollow and breathless as it echo's in the otherwise empty bathroom. I tell myself that the drops of cold water on my cheeks mixed in among the hot are just from the shower.

Why does it hurt so much? I haven't even known Naruto two week yago. Why is this so important to me?

I stayed in the shower until I was shivering from the cold dampness of it, for it had gone cold some time ago. Others had come in and taken their showers, I had heard them in the stalls next to me, but they'd all grumbling under their breath about the lack of hot water. I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around my waist while palming my hair to dry it off, hating the feel of my fingers wrinkled from too much exposition to water. I walked past the mirror and stopped.

God I look so much like him. I hate every similarity between us.

But something else in the mirror stopped me too. A small, faint jagged scar just below my collar bone makes me wince. A piece of glass had logged itself into my flesh the night of the murder. There had been glass everywhere. Every window and lamp in the house had been broken that night. Other than the glass embedded in my chest and feet and a bruised neck, I'd gotten away without any major harm, while the rest of my family had been reduced to nothing but rotting corpses.

I winced and pulled my hand away from it quickly. Since when had I become such a girl? Reminiscing and such. I look back in the mirror and almost jump out of my skin when another pair of eyes locks with mine. I get this creepy déjà vu feeling, before realizing just who is looking back at me in the mirror.

"Kakashi."

My voice holds not the slightest of emotion. I'm tired and I'm drained and I can't seem to find the strength to sound mean or happy or sad or icy. He stairs back at me for a moment before I turn around. His eyes gaze over me and they stop momentarily at the scar on my chest, before moving up to my slightly blood shot eyes. There's no need to explain the scar to Kakashi. We both know he isn't going to ask, and we both know that if he did, I wouldn't be answering anyways.

"Sakura said you were sick."

"You need to keep that woman on a leash _doctor,_ and away from _me_."

His expression doesn't change, not that I had expected it to.

"So you aren't feeling sick?"

_I feel sicker than I have in years, _"No, I don't."

"Are you sure?"

"God damn it Kakashi I said I was fine didn't I?"

Oh God did my head hurt.

He mumbled something under his breath that sounded like 'You don't look fine to me.' but I pretended I hadn't heard it.

I could tell that the conversation was going nowhere and I turned my back to him, I wasn't about to waist any more time with him than I had to, but before I knew it, he was in front of me holding up a familiar pair of plastic cups. I groaned, but downed them both quickly. I walk over to the pile of clothes I'd brought with me and Kakashi turns around as I slip on my sweat pants. We've come to an understanding after all these years her, and he knows when not to push my buttons. I must look like hell for Kakashi to not even tease me.

"If you need anything," he starts but I interrupt him.

"I'm fine."

I know he doesn't believe me but he nodes anyway and leaves the room. I grumble under my breath and pull on my T shirt. My head is throbbing and there's dried blood caked in my hair and all over again everything hurts.

As I make my way back to my empty bedroom I find myself passing the Isolation room, which is funny because it isn't in the route to my room. In fact it's on the opposite side of the hospital. I stop in front of the large metal door and place my palm on it. The metal is cool and smooth to the touch, the door is familiar to me. The small rectangular window in the middle of the door catches my eyes. I know what's on the other side of this door, _who's_ on the other side of this door, and it frightens me. There's so much I want to ask him, scratch that, _beat_ out of him, but I no longer know if I want to know. They say ignorance is bliss. But this is something I can't live not knowing. It's eating away at me already. I have to know.

I kneel in front of the small window, take a deep breath and look in expecting a pair of dull blue eyes to meet mine, but they are closed. He hardly looks like the screaming boy from earlier who'd had to be restrained by 4 doctors. Naruto's head is resting against the wall behind him and his knees are pulled up towards his body, one arm wrapped around them while the other is resting against the cold of the Isolation room floor. His chest slowly rises and then falls again with each easy breath he takes and I'm fascinated by the sight in front of me. Everything about the this boy is perfect, yet all of it is wrong.

I'm about to knock on the window and wake up sleeping beauty himself when it all floods back to me and again I can't breathe. In my mind I can see the green grass, plush and swaying in the wind, the halfway bloomed flowers, the towering old tree, the small naïve blond and his bright eyes and smile, and Itachi's soft look and slight smile

Why?

None of it made sense. I want to ask him, but I find I don't want his answers. I look in at the sleeping boy again.

_**I don't want to know.**_

_**I don't want to know why my brother looked at him in a way he's never looked at me.**_

All my depression and sadness was slowly giving way to the bottled up hatred and anger.

What, it wasn't enough for Itachi that our parent's adored him? It wasn't enough that any girl on the planet would sell their soul to date him? It wasn't enough that he was naturally talented in everything he did, sports, art, language, reading, math, science, martial arts, wasn't that enough for him? It wasn't enough that he had me for a little brother? Never once had he raised a hand towards me or our parents, why had this all happened so sudden?

Was it even sudden at all?

He'd always been kind of distant, but never in a murderous type of way. Him and father got into fights on and off all the time, but it was never anything serious. Itachi had taken an interest in martial arts not long after the fights had started and I mean sure he liked gun websites and was saving up a bunch of money and ...

I stopped, hit with a realization I had tried not to think about all these years.

_**My god Itachi,**_

_**How long had you been planning it?**_

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

Insanity

Chapter 10  
By PockyWhore

_**My god Itachi,**_

_**How long had you been planning it?**_

My breath caught in my throat when a pair of sky blue eyes opened, blinking a few times, before locking gaze with me through the small window of the isolation room. I could see the slight surprise in his eyes and then he smiled up at me from his place on the floor, then he frowned as if realizing something.

My hand subconsciously went up to my neck in realization too. Naruto was still beating himself up over what had happened before. The blond turned his face away and he wouldn't meet my gaze again.

The silence stretched out for what seemed like forever. Neither of us knew what to say or how to say it. There was so much I wanted to ask Naruto, so much about him that I didn't know, that he had kept secret from me. I wanted to yell at him and demand answers but at the same time I wanted so badly to just curl up in a ball somewhere and cry. At one point everything in my life had made sense, in a twisted kind of way, at least I understood, now everything I thought I knew seemed irrelevant.

Then I remembered the night on the roof and things made even less sense.

"_What the hell,"_

"_You some kind of whore or something Sasuke?"_

"_I ain't good enough for ya?"_

"_Or do ya just want to fuck that Gaara guy or the Itachi one."_

**If Naruto had known Itachi, then why had he said those things as if he hadn't?**

I winced at the memory and my head throbbed from the wound from before. Shacking it off I knocked lightly on the window trying to get the blond boy to look at me, or at least acknowledge that I was even there. But he wouldn't. His bangs cast his eyes in shadows off to one side and I couldn't even tell if they were closed or not. Although I knew he wasn't asleep. I could tell by the tense posture and uneven breaths that he was far, far from sleep, although he did look to be lost in thought.

I sighed getting mildly irritated now. I wanted answers, and I wanted them straight from the horse's mouth. I knocked on the window slightly harder, not caring that at any moment one of the evening shift nurses could walk down the hall and shoo me away. But Naruto didn't respond. I knocked again and again, harder and harder until I was practically pounding at the window begging for his attention.

"Naruto." I spoke in a voice angrier than I had intended.

I saw the other boy flinch at the sound, but other than that he made no movements.

"Naruto." My voice was softer this time, but he didn't move.

"Naruto, please." I knew I was begging now and I was reminded of a time when the tables had been turned and it had been him trying to talk to me and I wished now that at the time I hadn't denied him.

I gave up when I saw him move even further into a corner away from the door. He wasn't going to talk to me tonight and that was that. I let my head fall forward and my forehead rested against the cool glass of the windowpane. Why is he so stubborn? Every ounce of anger from before was put on hold. I'd gone years not knowing the truth about Itachi, and I couldn't go another second without the truth.

I looked back in through the window one last time still clinging to some hope that Naruto would answer me, or just look at me, but he didn't. This boy huddled in a corner eyes hidden by darkness looked nothing like the bright eyes boy in the picture. I shook my head trying to erase the picture from my mind. I wasn't going to go there, at least not right now. I'd finally gotten my emotions somewhat under control, thinking of that picture now would only weaken my resolve.

But every time I think back on it my blood boils.

I could feel the cool glass against my forehead that was still resting on the window, I indulged in the feeling for a brief moment before standing up, fully prepared to go back to my room and just sleep all of everything away. I felt so tiered, much more than I should have.

At least for tonight, answers would have to wait.

As soon as I stood up my legs felt like rubber. I almost fell forwards but I caught myself on the wall directly opposite from the isolation room door. I tried to straighten myself out and walk but I couldn't. Everything was spinning and I couldn't breathe easily. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes trying to get myself together, but every time I opened my eyes the hall would spin again and I had to fight to keep down my lunch.

The back of my head throbbed terribly.

I stood completely still breathing slowly, eyes clamped shut. This time when I opened them again the room didn't tilt. I pushed off the wall and took a step forward, but suddenly I felt light and the ground felt like clay beneath my feet.

Barley had I taken one more step when I felt my whole body give under me.

I fell to the hard tiled ground of the hallway and Naruto's yell barley registered in my brain before my head cracked sickeningly against the floor and everything went black.

I groaned as light shone on my sleep dilated eyes. My whole body ached, and I hurt in placed I never even knew I had.

And Oh god did my head hurt.

I groaned and tried to turn away from the source of light but every time I tried to move my head stung and my body protested. I hissed at the painful sensation coursing through me, but I stayed still and it soon passed. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, letting them adjust. Once I could see again and everything wasn't one big blur, I immediately recognized the plain white caked ceiling that I've known almost all my life.

I sighed out loud and closed my eyes again. I vaguely remembered what had happened and it did make sense considering that my head hurt the way it did. I brought a hand up and rubbed my temple reliving some of the tension in my body.

"Finally awake eh?"

The voice brought all kinds of emotions to the surface but my head hurt to much to think right now.

I turned my head lazily towards the voice, only to see blue eyes that the night before wouldn't even look at me. Sitting on the floor next to my bed was Naruto. I blinked down at him, but he just smiled.

"How are you feeling?" he asked

"Like I got run over." And it was the truth.

He just kind of half smiled up at me and held out 3 cups. My brow rose and I pulled myself up so that I was sitting against the wall behind my bed, wincing. I looked over the cups, finding my regular medicine and water in one and 3 white aspirin pills in the last. Oh, sweet asprin.

"Naruto, I think I love you." I drawled and reached for the cup of aspirin.

He just smiled up at me again before pulling the cup to just out of my reach.

"I take that back." I sighed under my breath.

Standing up he finally handed me the cups and I downed all three of them before looking back at him. For some reason the photo came to mind and I found that I couldn't look him in the eye again. I just couldn't, he knew my brother, and he adored my brother, the man that has caused me so much pain.

I wanted so badly to just beat the answers out of the blond, but at the same time, I didn't want to know. I knew things would never be the same once the truth was out in the open.

"Sasuke?"

I looked up, but I wouldn't meet his gaze. I stared off at something past his shoulder.

"Sasuke." His voice was sterner this time.

He stepped forward and gripped my chin between his hand and forced my eyes to meet his. I smacked his hand away and flinched away from him.

I didn't want to be touched.

Not by him.

Not right now.

"I give up." He muttered under his breath.

His voice got louder. "I fucking give up Sasuke! Why do we keep doing this? We keep going round in this circle of being mad at each other. Why? Last night it was me, now it's you. Why are we so afraid of each other Sasuke? Answer me."

For a minuet I didn't answer.

I didn't know what to say.

"Sasuke, why is it like this? Why is it that we keep playing this game?" He's whispering now, and he's so close to me.

"Sasuke, Do you know how scared I was when you fell. You weren't moving and no one was around. I couldn't get out of the damn room. You were just laying their Sasuke. I didn't know what to do. And it had to be that damn Sakura girl that found you. Why is it always her?"

He's so close to me that I can feel his breath against my cheek and I can feel his hair against my neck.

"Naruto don't." I know that I'm whispering too, but I felt like if I spoke any louder that all of it would end.

"Why Sasuke?"

"Just don't Naruto."

"Fine." He says after a moment before he pulls away completely.

Half of me was happy that he'd listened to me,

But the other half of me wished he had stayed close.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Insanity**  
_By Pocky Whore_

Days went by with neither Naruto nor I confronting the other. The tension whenever the two of us were in the same room was so unsettling that neither of us could stand it for very long. I had spent days dwelling on the photo still tucked under my pillow. I had spent hours staring at it, only to immediately spend hours trying to erase it from my mind. Every time I looked at it the churning in my gut increased. No matter how many times I saw it, no matter how long I looked at it, it still shook me every time. I saw it in my head every night when I closed my eyes. I saw it every time I looked at Naruto. Maybe that was part of the reason I was avoiding him like the plague, not that I had to try very hard, Naruto seemed to be avoiding me just as readily.

It seemed somehow as if his life's energy had been sucked right out of him. He was just going through the motions of living, much as I had been doing since my admitting here. His eyes didn't seem as blue, even his hair appeared to have lost its luster.

He didn't even try to appear happy when he was around me.

He'd lie on his bed and stare at the ceiling for hours, possibly days, because I had a nagging sensation in my gut that told me he hadn't slept in days. It concerned me. Not nearly enough to confront him, or consul him, or whatever one is supposed to do in this situation. No, Naruto's sudden phase of depression really brought no sympathy from me.

For day's I looked at the picture when Naruto wasn't around. For day's I contemplated the right way to confront him. I just hadn't yet figured that part out yet. Well, actually I had, I had imagined myself cornering him and beating the answers out of his blond skull. I had thought about casually bringing it up and seeing where the conversation would lead. I had a million different plans cooked up in my head, but I couldn't execute them. I'm not sure exactly what was stopping me. I had a plan, or at least a vague idea of a plan, and I had plenty of opportunities.

The part I hadn't quite figured out yet was what to do after I confronted him. Once the truth was all lain out on the table, then what happened?

That was the part that I was most concerned with. I didn't know Naruto's story, but I was pretty sure I wouldn't like it. I was positive I wouldn't like it. Would I be able to handle myself? That what my biggest doubt. When it came to Itachi my emotions were unpredictable. The mere thought of him turned me bipolar.

Today I hadn't seen Naruto. He hadn't been in the room when I fell asleep, but I had heard him sneak in sometime later, nor had he been there when I woke up. It didn't bug me nearly as much as it had the first couple times this had happened. It was like Naruto was some rare eclipse that only happed once in a blue moon, but each time you say it, the memory stuck. I could tell he was fed up with me. After the incident last week he become a lot more irritable, but he also had this sad sort of aura around him. It baffled me actually. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he was so upset with me. I should be the one sulking and ignoring him. He was totally stealing my thunder.

But my anger made me feel no sympathy for him.

Another couple hours went by, before I heard a knock on the door. I didn't move, nor did I yell out some obnoxious phrase to indicate the door was open. I didn't quite care who was on the other side. They knocked once more, and the door started the creep open. I turned my head to look at the door, and whoever was coming in it.

I didn't even have the energy to roll my eyes or snort my disapproval as Sakura came into the room. This woman obviously has no brain. Her skirt had gradually been getting shorter and shorter over the past week; witch confused me because honestly she wasn't the hottest thing on two legs. She still had bruises on her legs, and her legs were significantly paler than the rest of her body.

She seemed surprised to see me in the room and cleared her throat loudly as she entered.

"Sasuke, I'm here to change your bed sheets." She hummed happily as she bounced over to my bedside.

This time I did roll my eyes, but I got up from the bed and sat on the floor more towards Naruto's side of the room so I'd be out of her way. She kept glancing at me as she gathered the blanket off of the bed and folded them neatly on the ground. She was in the process of bending over in what I can only assume was her biggest attempt at looking provocative while folding a blanket. Her skirt was ridding dangerously high up her backside. That's when I realized her ass was even whiter than her legs.

At that exact moment, out of all the other less interesting moments of the day, Naruto walked in.

He stood in the doorway, not an ounce of emotion sketched anywhere on his face. He glanced over at me and I shrugged, because really, what else are you supposed to do in a situation like this? He looked back at Sakura who was still painfully unaware that the number of her audience had just doubled. She looked over at me and attempted to seduce me with her smile, or something. Frankly I'm not really sure what she was trying to do. Naruto chose that moment to clear his throat. Loudly.

Sakura straightened immediately and stood stiffly in the middle of the room. Her head slowly turned towards the doorway, and it was almost like a scene out of The Exorcist as her neck turned further than I assumed was possible to look at Naruto. She blushed when she realized he was there, and had probably been there for a while. She faked a cough and pretended to busy herself with the bedding. She threw the pillows and sheets into a big pile, apparently losing the will to bend over and fold everything. She grabbed the bundle of bedding in both arms, and hurried out the door, knocking Naruto down in the process of pushing past the door.

I don't know which was funnier, Sakura's hurried shuffle out the door carrying half her weight in bed sheets, or Naruto's expression while on his short trip to the floor. Actually both were rather hilarious. So I laughed. Not just a small chuckle in the back of my throat, no, this was a full on can't breathe about to cry laugh. By now I was laying on the floor holding my side, my throat bubbling over with laughter. I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed this hard. It was certainly sometime before coming to this place. I had almost forgotten what laughing felt like.

I turned my head towards Naruto and his faced caused the laughs to start all over again. He was staring at me as if I had no head or something.

By the time I could contain myself again, Naruto was smiling at me. I looked over at him and for some reason I couldn't look away. It was like if either of us looked away that it would all go away. Like all the happiness in the world would leave me and I'd be left how I had been during this week when Naruto was ignoring me. I caught myself before I could compare myself to a moody teenage girl.

I honestly don't know how long we stayed like that, him on one side of the room sitting on the floor locking eyes with me still lying on the ground. Finally the small feeling of embarrassment crawled up my spine and I turned my head away.

I stared up at the ceiling, convincing myself that I was infatuated with the collection of cracks that slightly resembled a squirrel or some other woodland creature. I sensed Naruto stand up more than heard him stand up. His footsteps though, those were amazingly loud in my ears. Each step he took vibrated through my entire body. Then his face was right above me, smiling down at me, and his eyes seemed happier than they had in days. It made me nervous but at the same time I liked being looked at like that. But mostly it made me embarrassed. Not the blushed cheeks, unable to make eye contact, fidget with my shirt kind of nervous, but nervous none the less.

He was smiling so big I thought his face would split in half. I raised my eyebrow at him and he laughed softly at me. He lowered himself down onto the ground, and lay down next to me on the tile floor. We lay there for God know how long. Neither of us talking, but every now and then I could feel him staring at me in the corner of his eye.

"Dobe." I said still looking up at the ceiling. I heard him laugh again, this time it sounded happy. I couldn't help but smile at the sound. Again with the moody teenage girl mentality or perhaps hormonal teenage girl would be a better comparison. But hey, it's not my fault Naruto just happens to know how to confuse me, anger me, worry me, and make me smile all in the same time. God I'm such a girl.

I laughed at my train of thought, and this time Naruto was the one to raise his brow.

"Hey Sasuke?" He said casually as he threw his arm to rest under his head.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry about the other night" He sighed.

"What for?" I was thinking back, but I couldn't honestly think of anything he'd have to apologize for, well at least that he knew about yet. Really he hadn't done anything wrong; it was my own fucked up mentality that had gotten in the way.

"You're not mad?" Naruto sat up and looked down at me.

"No." I said, and I wasn't. Not at the moment. Not about the other night, I might be mad at him later, but for the time being I wasn't.

Naruto put one hand on the other side of my body on the floor so he was leaning towards me. His face was getting closer to me, and I could feel the fear pricking up my spine, slowly, slowly working its way up my body, but it was a dull feeling in my body greatly outweighed by the absence of fear. He was so close to me now, inches, maybe centimeters, but who's counting? I lifted my head up to meet him, and our lips met.

His lips weren't smooth. They were slightly chapped, but it wasn't really his lips I was concentrating on. It was his breath mingling with mine; it was the way his eyes still bore into me even now.

It might have been only a second, I doubt it was much longer, but the moment the door swung open we jumped apart. Kakashi came in, looked down at us with a raised eyebrow and a smirk that said he'd just walked in on something he shouldn't have and he didn't give a damn. Naruto was fidgeting and I could see a blush forming on his cheeks. It made me smile.

"Sasuke come on we've got to do a check up on your concussion." He said with a sadistic smile. I stood up, glanced down at Naruto one last time, and followed Kakashi out the door.

It was sometime between when I left the room and when I returned that Naruto found the picture that had fallen out of my bed sheets.

TBC


End file.
